Left Behind
by ACastleOnACloud
Summary: Chyan Oneshot.


Ryan shut the door of the dance studio behind him, collapsing against the wall of mirrors as tears streamed down his face as he tried to hold in his sobs.

He didn't want anyone to see him like this. To witness Ryan Evans as a vulnerable, confused teenager. It just didn't fit into his image.

"I hate myself." He whispered to his palms and he covered his face with his hands, to try and shut out the image of the world around him, to try and deny everything that was happening. How could his life be so bleak, so pointless?

He was so weak. He was disgusted with himself. He couldn't find the strength to stop the tears, or to get over all those who had abandoned them. He couldn't go on alone, and he loathed it.

He had nothing to live for anymore. Everyone he thought had loved him had deserted him in favor of others. There was no reason for him to be living. There was no reason for him to be alive, not when his existence meant so little to those around him.

Sharpay had left him for Troy once again. Though she promised she never would leave him after what had happened last summer, when Troy had declared his unwavering love to Sharpay Evans, she had broken that vow in a moment, now devoting all her time, thoughts, and love to Troy Bolton. She barely remembered that she had a twin.

And his parents. Once upon a time they had loved him. Before that _intruder_ came into their lives.

_-_

"_Ryan! Stop that infernal racket. You'll wake up your baby brother."_

_Ryan glanced at that baby in his mother's arms, scowling. _

"_But Mom, I need to practice for the auditions next week. If I don't have this number down…"_

"_Well, you have practice outside. It's time for Jonathan's nap, and we can't have you waking him up! If you must sing and dance, find somewhere else to do it!"_

_-_

Once upon a time, his love for theater meant everything to his mother. He had meant everything to his mother. He was her favorite child, her special little Ducky. But now he had been replaced in her affections by something that couldn't even do a jazz square.

It hurt. Ryan felt as if his insides had turned to ice, and his heart was being torn to shreds inside his chest. He was doubled over now, still covering his eyes with his hands.

He was so distressed he didn't notice when the door to the dance studio creaked open.

"Hey Ryan, I thought I saw you coming in here!" Chad's voice rang out cheerfully, and Ryan's head snapped up as he looked at the boy in horror. And then he caught sight of the blond. "Ryan?"

_No._

Nobody could see him like this. No one could see how unstable he was, how the slightest thing could harm him beyond repair. Any cutting word or sharp retort now had the ability to send Ryan's mind into chaos, because he actually could believe the insults now.

Because he was useless. He was weak. Something to be used, and then tossed away like trash.

The next thing he knew, he was burying his face into the bigger boy's shoulder, the sobs being pulled from his throat by an invisible force. He didn't know how that had happened, he could have as easily run over to Chad, or the bigger boy could've been the one to tug him into the embrace, but Ryan wasn't sure who had gone to whom. All that he knew was that he was bawling like a child, without any shame or dignity, into his friend's shirt.

And then his emotions were spilling out, as if Chad's entrance had cracked the ice barrier he had worked up so hard to set around himself.

"Why?" Ryan asked to the blue shirt he was crying into. "Why am I so weak? Why am I so useless? It'd probably be better for everyone if I wasn't alive anymore. Nobody needs me. I have no reason for living, so why am I still being so selfish?" Then the choking emotion overwhelmed him, and he couldn't even sob anymore. But there was still a steady stream of never ending tears pouring from his eyes.

Chad was just silent for a moment. If Ryan had been looking at the darker boy's face instead of his shoulder, he would've seen something similar to indecisiveness painted on Chad's expression.

"Maybe…" Chad said quietly, "Maybe no one has a reason for being alive. But what you said…it isn't true."

This caused Ryan to look at him, even though he was ashamed to be seen with puffy, red eyes and smeared mascara.

"I…need you." Chad said softly, catching Ryan's chin with a strong finger and forcing the blond to look up into his eyes. And slowly he brought his darker lips to Ryan's pink ones, kissing him gently. "Maybe…your reason for living…is so that I can love you."

Ryan's mouth twitched a little, but he couldn't smile. Not after he had been alone and suffering for so long.

"Really?" 

"Of course." Chad pulled Ryan into another kiss, a more passionate one this time. "Don't worry Ryan. We'll find the place where you'll be happy. I won't let you be left behind."

-

-

Ryan happily tap danced across the stage, enjoying the sound of the tapping as it reached his ears: he loved hearing himself dance. After he slowed to a stop, he looked down to see his audience. Usually he was accustomed to dancing alone, but recently, that had changed.

"Dance with me?" He asked, lifting his pale eyebrows and reaching his hands out to take Chad's bigger ones in his own.

Together they danced back and forth across the stage to a jaunty tune, nothing slow, just something they could enjoy, that would lift their spirits.

As the song stopped, Chad pulled Ryan into a tight embrace, tucking the blonde's head underneath his chin.

"I love you, you know that?"

Ryan nodded, and turned his head up, with Chad meeting him halfway to close the distance between their lips.

"Forever?" 

"Always."


End file.
